Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Language of Tears

You bottle them, It says,
they are precious to You.

is the cabinet with my name on it getting full?
I’m sure it’s overflowing by now
for at times I think I'll drown in salt.
but I have learned to worship You
in this language of tears.

the first language
the most primal sign of need
though as I grew, I learned to speak another
the language of protection, harsh, loud, obscene,
fist breaking drywall, stoic silences flaying heartflesh deeper than words
soon the tears were locked so deep inside that only privately could they be freed.

but You wooed me back,
in song laid open
I could not hide the need
my first language again broke through, Sunday after Sunday.
softening my heart I began to see
that tears were not my enemy.

now relieving waters so easily flow

the old tears,
discovered hidden away, biding their time in torment, released from the deep to final relief

the frustrated droplets
shed so that my body can express the impatience or anger with a tongue stilled and damage averted

the weeping with others
on page, on screen and most poignantly, vitally, next to me.

sadness, longing, joy, disappointment, tenderness, fear, moment by moment feelings
baptized

and always the awareness of You prompts worship bathed in brine;
the bowing of my knees seen glistening in my eyes.


Blog Med Sig 4

PS  I'm ok. Still pretty peaceful.  I just noticed how often I type "it made me cry"  and it got me thinking.


Pondering with Em' and friends

22 comments:

tinuviel said...

This is beautiful and redemptive. Learning to lament is a good thing but not much fun. :)

My very favorite phrases are "feelings baptized" and "worship bathed in brine." Perfectly captured!

Grace and peace to you in Christ, Joybird.

Brian Miller said...

smiles. tears can be a baptism of themselves...in release and surrender or just in worship...very nice.

Ryan and Melanie said...

loved this line:
"and always the awareness of You prompts worship bathed in brine;
the bowing of my knees seen glistening in my eyes."

it seems i can sit through a sermon these days without tears. beautiful words.

-Mel

Ruthiey said...

Wow, I love this. I've always been an emotional person and realizing that the emotions themselves are not bad has been a journey. Thanks for the beautiful tribute to tears.

life or something like it said...

hmm this hots so close to me, for i hid and hardened my tears like you.
Thank you fr this post, to remind that God catches our tears.

Bristol said...

Your honesty about the difficult times you've been walking through is so beautiful. What a deep, steadfast, open faith you have, Joybird!

Kati patrianoceu said...

"the awareness of You prompts worship" - i'm feeling a theme emerging in today's imperfect prose, and that phrase really captures it. The way God grabs our hearts, does something deep inside, something that more often than not we don't, and shouldn't understand. But which makes it all the more real. Thank you for this.

Belinda said...

A beautiful evolution of tears.

Sarah Louise Upjohn said...

The last 2 lines are my favorite.

Old Ollie said...

Some day we'll get them all wiped away.

Yes God pursues!

rain said...

so lovely and true. thank you for a new perspective: i am comforted that he bottles my grieving and repentant tears ... does he also bottle my tears of joy?

blessings to you!

Anna said...

"I have learned to worship you in this language of tears"..."feelings baptized"...beautifully written, Joybird. I've received much comfort from knowing He bottles our tears. And one day there will be no more tears!

HopeUnbroken said...

really beautiful post, joybird! i loved this: "and always the awareness of You prompts worship bathed in brine;
the bowing of my knees seen glistening in my eyes." what a word picture that gave me. and i love word pictures :-) thank you for sharing your heart.

Lisa notes... said...

"but I have learned to worship You
in this language of tears."

Me, too.

And tears as baptism? Hmm...that's an interesting imagery that I want to think more about today. Great post.

april said...

"and always the awareness of You prompts worship bathed in brine;
the bowing of my knees seen glistening in my eyes"

so good...so, so good.

thanks, Joybird. :-)

Sheila Moore said...

I just made this comment somewhere (thinking it might have been here recently) - anyway, the comment is that everytime we cry we let a little more of God in (at least, that is what a friend tells me:)
nice post here.

emily wierenga said...

but I have learned to worship You
in this language of tears.

oh joybird...

you don't know how i know this. how often i cry. how often i feel him crying through me, and then comforting me at the same time. it is an odd and holy feeling. so beautifully written.

Rachel said...

Beautiful writing, how He stores our tears is one of my favorite passages. This made me realize on a deeper level how important our release of tears is and to cry out to Him like you said in our.....

"sadness, longing, joy, disappointment, tenderness, fear, moment by moment feelings
baptized

and always the awareness of You prompts worship bathed in brine;
the bowing of my knees seen glistening in my eyes."

Debbie said...

Very much appreciated your poem. Very freeing to value tears.

Southern Gal said...

This is beautiful in a bittersweet sort of way. Tears are a good thing.

Connie@raise your eyes said...

"softening my heart I began to see
that tears were not my enemy."...tears are a gift, a sign of a heart softened...a joy to GOD...why else would He want to save our tears?

Melanie said...

Beautiful, honest, pure.. you, my friend, have a GIFT!

Visiting from the the "Encouragement is Contagious" linky party at my blog, "Only A Breath"! I hope your week is a wonderful one!

Blessings!
Melanie

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