Wednesday, June 1, 2011

10 Years Ago Yesterday

Dear Bee,

Ten years ago yesterday I was working with you, one of my best friends. We’d get our exercise walking the trail after work. Once we discovered an owl hidden in the tall eucalyptus. Ten years ago yesterday your parrot, Sammy, would call me names with your voice when I sassed her. Ten years ago yesterday Stinkerbell lived at your house. Ten years ago yesterday I was studying to be a real estate agent and we were going to open a business together. Ten years ago yesterday I lived on my own miles away from where I lay my head tonight. Ten years ago yesterday I planned to go to the beach with you after we prepped the shish kebobs for a leasing event. Ten years ago yesterday you told me how much fun you were having planning dessert for your son’s birthday. Ten years ago yesterday my car broke down and I decided to take it in for repairs rather than go to Costco with you. Ten years ago yesterday I had no idea how in the space of a phone call my whole life could change. Ten years ago yesterday I didn’t know that I should have hugged you goodbye.

Ten years ago today you didn’t come home. You went Home.

Today it feels like forever since I whispered a teary goodbye in a cold hospital room and yet like no time at all. Today it seems normal to not talk with you. Today your dog seems far more mine than she was yours (as I did own her almost twice as long as you.) I loved her so much. I did a good job mothering her. You’d have been proud and perhaps a little surprised. But of course you know that now as Stinkerbell has joined you. After your friendship Bee, she’s the best gift you could have ever given me.  I never became a real estate agent. I still like houses but that business only seemed fun working with you. I’m a pretty good cook now (although nowhere near as good as you.) You definitely inspired me. And I found a Philly’s Best near me. I think of you every time I eat a cheese steak. I’ve even been to Philly, at least the airport. I’m still following God the best I can, still making choices that would confuse you if you were here but now probably make more sense to you than to me. I have great friends today; loyal, trustworthy women that you’d like if you met them. I’ve grown up a lot Bee, although it’s hard to see unless you listen closely. But you would have seen it. Sorry, I don’t play the political game any better now than I did before but I’m more comfortable in my own skin and more accepting of other people in theirs. I think that’s probably what you were trying to explain in that last long chat.  I hope your men are thriving and
 I expect that they are. They’re good guys and you loved them well. Even though I’m sure they’ll always grieve you, I hope their lives are strong and good and filled with love. I pray for them once in a while.

Bee, I know that you are beyond words like happy now. Even this very minute you are relishing every good thing I ever wanted for you and so much more that I can’t even begin to imagine. I guess what I want to say most is thank you for being my friend. I still miss you. I always will. But I will also be forever grateful that you showed me for a little while what it’s like to have a big sister.

Love until we meet again,
your Junior
Blog Med Sig 4

17 comments:

The simple things in life... said...

Thinking of you Joybird. Sending love and thoughts your way xx

TK said...

tears Joybird...just tears....as I was reading this post this weird feeling came over me and I started to feel cold....I knew it was going to turn into sadness and loss...thinking of you dear one, TK xx

happygirl said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine, but I shed a few tears with you.

marlece said...

what a great tribute to your friend. It makes me not want to take for grantide the friendships in my life or anybody for that matter. Thanks for this today!

David N. said...

Wow, I wasn't expecting that. It really hit me when I realized what was going on. I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm sure your friend would be proud of you.

Jodi said...

Hugs to you, dear heart.

Tiffini said...

giving you a hug..and praying
that you can feel His arms wrapped tight around you today
xo

tinuviel said...

Beautiful tribute to your friend. My eyes and heart are full for you. May the Father of mercies comfort your sorrow.

Farmgirl Paints said...

oh my what a precious post. i'm sure she is much happier than down here in this fallen world.

Kara said...

Don't quite know what to write...I've felt deep tears...deep sorrow.
I think what hits me most is that you remember...that she still is close...10 years later.
I'm on year 3.
This mean so much to me...because I don't want to forget.
This touched me heart and won me over as a forever-follower...beautiful post of friendship as it should be.

nic said...

oh, joybird. i'm so glad that you had the gift of a friend this dear, but sad for these years apart, even if for just a while. beautiful, the way you loved her and love her still.

dawnbright said...

How sweet and sad. I know you loved her very much.

Bristol said...

This post was so full of heart, Joybird. I love that you shared her memory with us! Thank you for your wonderful testimony to Bee's life.

"Ima" said...

This was a great tribute to your friend. It sounds like you had a wonderful friendship-so sorry for your loss of her. Thank you for sharing her memory with us.

I noticed you called her Bee. What was her full name? We call my middle daugher Bee.

journeytoepiphany said...

This was a beautiful testament to the love and friendship of sisters. Thanks for sharing your heart...

mountain mama said...

oh...

=(

however, you will see your friend again and it will be SO much fun!!!

blessings~

Leslie said...

crying over this... it is a beautiful letter to her.

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