I know I should tell you something you don’t know. How about, where I’ve been. Well nowhere, actually, but ever since I’ve decided to tend that little flame life has been relentlessy busy. It almost feels oppositional. But I’m committed. Trying my best to prioritize and work on these new tasks consistently. I have little hopes and dreams growing, just little green seedlings really (I know, I switched metaphors again) and I’m trying to nurture them. The funny thing is that a lot of the time I’m spending working this dream garden is the time I would normally spend on blogging. Not just the writing and editing pictures for my own blog but taking the time to make the rounds to visit you and comment and email, you know be present. Please know that when I have a chance I have been whisking off to lurk. It just seems to be a transitional season. But hey, that's what you get when the tagline is “the story of a girl trying to find her place in the world.” You never know where those kinds of journey may lead. But I’m still here, just in smaller doses. And I may be sneaking around your blog, reading, pondering, giggling, and just not commenting.
Today my heart is just grinning. You know last summer I was so grey. I don’t know why. (If I looked for reasons I could probably find some but they weren’t really the reason for the doldrums) I guess it’s just the vagaries of an artistic temperament. Sometimes moods show up and decide to settle for a little while, even without permission. But today I realized just how sunny I felt. No real reason why, just sunny. I like this soul weather. I mean if I looked I could find some reasons. Thanks to house and dog sitting I will have spent over a month in the close company of sweet little furry creatures who adore me. I had some new (little) things fall into place today in this new direction. Nothing huge, and my fears are still so intimidating (and scary loud) so when I see little things come together I treasure them like secret love notes from God saying, “Its ok, keep walking, I’m just steps ahead of you, clearing a path.”
So today, I went to a new library to find some sheet music that I needed and can’t afford to buy. A library in the city next to me had it. It’s a stunningly beautiful old library. I found one picture that I liked but clearly I’m going to have to go back and take a ton of pictures to show you. Because with the exception of the picture below, Google did not come through for me today.
This 1920’s beauty just fills me with excitement. I even got to get a new library card from them this morning. Sigh. I love library cards. My mom used to take us to the library as soon as we moved to a new house (we moved a lot.) Then I left there to visit my regular library where I discovered a cd of one of the songs I’m trying to learn, just sittin’ there, waiting for me, like someone had made sure I’d be able to get it. (I also found three wonderful new books at the Friends of the Library shelf: 3 children’s books for a dollar. Can’t beat it!) So I’m enjoying the soul weather. Trying tenaciously to clear my schedule but also be accepting that blogosphere participation may slow down a smidge. And I’m desperately, purposefully (confessional: not completely successfully) trying to not predict the weather down the road just because today is nice. In prose I’m trying not to predict that all my new goals will fall neatly in place just because today did. Trying to keep realistic expectations and an open heart for whatever He has for me next.
Well, I don’t really have a tidy wrap up but hey, this is a post entitled “Miscellany,” There is no neatness in miscellany.
So stay tuned (but be warned it may be a Superbowl long commercial break),